Next Halloween

This year, I actually did think about dressing up. It was suggested to me that I dress up as Michael Moore. However, this costume would require so little effort, that it wouldn't really be a costume at all. All I'd have to do is change my Red Sox hat to a Detroit Tigers hat, or an MSU hat.

The thought of how easy it would be to dress up as Michael Moore made me very depressed.

I had another costume idea for next year, if I choose to dress up. Bill Belichick.

All I need to do is wear a hoodie with cutoff sleeves, a shitty pair of blue jogging pants, some headphones, some unkempt hair, a red flag in my sock, and three giant rings. It'd be an easy costume to make.

Bets Update

Netted $100 this weekend in fake football betting. The refs and the Jets fucked me over in their loss to Cleveland. I also should have bet more on New England considering when I saw the spread was 1 point, I burts out laughing.

Ithaca Poker War

As you may or may not know, I play poker. That's where I get my money. I bought my books last year with money from poker. I feed my addiction to Short-Stop with poker money. There are a lot of poker players in Ithaca. There are some that are very serious. Currently, some of these serious players are in the midst of a war of words, and I'm caught up in it.

I won't name names, but there's basically 4 players, including myself, involved in this little tiff. Another player and I vs. two other players. All of us are pretty good at poker, and all of us have played against each other.

The problem is, all of us have ego problems. We all think we're great and that other players aren't that great. I'm guilty of this as much, if not moreso, than anyone else involved in this feud.

We brag to each other about winning a lot of money, and we try to justify our losing sessions so we don't look bad. Some of us even revel in the losses of others. We make fun of each other's styles of play and don't consider the others in the group to be much of a threat.

It's really a shame because we could all help each other. Poker is a game that you will never be perfect at and you can always improve yourself. Poker is also a game that sometimes requires borrowing money, or helping each other out in some way.

I'm not proud of my childish and overly competetive behavior in this stupid little war. I'm going to try to bring peace to the conflict. We don't have to be friends, but we should all respect each other and try to help each other out. None of us are "made" poker players and we could all benefit from a little advice from players with more objective perceptions.

I will endeavor to be more mature and respectful and I will try to encourage similar behavior in the others. We shouldn't look at each other as competitors, but as colleagues.

Bets

$200 on New England -1.0 at Minnesota
$100 on NY Jets +2.5 at Cleveland
$100 on Green Bay -4.0 vs. Arizona
$100 on Jacksonville +7.5 at Philadelphia
$100 on UNDER 37 Baltimore @ New Orleans

Halloweenie

I don't dress up for Halloween. I don't decorate my apartment with black and orange or jackolanterns or skeletons or anything like that. I don't "celebrate" Halloween at all. I haven't for 3 years now.

This isn't to say that I hate Halloween. I have no opinion on it whatsoever. I just don't feel like I feel on other holidays. Christmas, New Years, St. Patrick's Day, those are holidays I can feel. Halloween just feels like another cold autumn day to me.

Maybe I'm just a bitter burnout, but I feel as though I've out grown Halloween.

Maybe my first Halloween at IC is the reason I don't like it so much. Everybody took the bus over to Cornell, hearing there were massive parties. Every party was either beat or wouldn't let us in. Eventually, the large group dispersed and we walked back to IC, far too sober for anyone's liking.

Sophomore year, my Halloween wasn't all that special, either. I didn't dress up or anything. Maybe that's because I was in Boston celebrating the Red Sox winning the World Series.

Last Halloween was perhaps one of the greatest days of my life, but it wasn't because of Halloween. Halloween had nothing to do with the fact that October 31st, 2005 was such a phenominal day.

I'm just not into it. I don't have anything against people who are. I just don't feel any different on October 31st than I do on October 30th. Although, a holiday that inspires girls to dress up in the skimpiest clothing imaginable even when its 35 degrees out can't be too bad.

Lack of sleep

I stayed up all night writing 2 outlines and doing a bibliography for history class. Now I'm waiting, killing time before I go to class. I want to sleep, really, really, really badly, but if I lie down now, I'm done for another 5 hours and will miss the classes I worked so hard to do the homework for.

I've noticed something about myself when I'm sleep deprived. I talk outloud to myself quite a bit. It is as if my inner monologue goes to bed. I noticed this tendency when I said it out loud. It's fucked up cuz I say everything out loud, sometimes very quietly, but still, I speak it.

Example: "Oops, dropped my pen. Better pick it up now."

I've actually said this loud enough for people to hear it. They must think I'm a friggin' lunatic.

Five hours until I can sleep. Can't wait. Just hope I don't sleep for too long and screw up my schedule.

Entourage 35 - "Redemption"

My outline for the Entourage script I'll be writing in TV Writing...

ACT I
SCENE 1 - ENTOURAGE’S HOUSE - DAY
ERIC wakes up hung over and groggy from a night of drinking. His cell rings. It’s ARI. ARI begs ERIC to talk to VINCE for him. ERIC replies “It’s too late, ARI.” and hangs up. ERIC looks at the clock and goes back to sleep.

SCENE 2 - ARI’S OFFICE - DAY
ARI, frustrated, hangs up the phone. He calls LLOYD into the office. He asks LLOYD for a samurai sword so he can ritually Seppuku (Japanese ritual suicide) himself.

SCENE 3 - PIZZA JOINT - THAT AFTERNOON
The Entourage is eating lunch at a pizza joint. DRAMA gets a call on his phone. It’s ED BURNS. BURNS asks DRAMA to come in for a meeting right away. DRAMA, excited, but still worried, departs. VINCE seems abnormally frustrated and anxious. ERIC notices this and asks what’s wrong. VINCE explains that he’s sick of not working. TURTLE chimes in mentioning that with VINCE unemployed, ERIC not earning commission, and SAIGON signed with another manager, DRAMA might be the Entourage’s top earner. VINCE is shaken by this and orders ERIC to find him work or an agent, soon. The three get up and go to the cashier. VINCE tries to pay for the meal with his credit card, but it is rejected. TURTLE offers to pay to repay VINCE for the custom sneakers. ERIC asks “Are you going to spring for $20 of pizza a thousand times, Turtle?”

SCENE 4 - ARI’S OFFICE - AFTERNOON
ARI is lying on his couch in a weird sort of meditative state, staring at the ceiling. BABS walks in with a smirk. The two exchange condescending banter before BABS gets to the point. She gives ARI an ultimatum. VINCE is the cornerstone of the agency, if ARI can’t get him back, she’s going to take her money and her clients out of the agency and find another partner, perhaps “TERRENCE or JOSH WEINSTEIN.” BABS leaves the office. ARI yells for LLOYD. LLOYD enters. ARI, for the first time in his life, is at a loss for what to do. LLOYD simply tells him to give VINCE what he wants, get Medellin back for him. ARI explains he’s tried everything to get the movie. LLOYD mentions that he hasn’t tried begging for it. ARI realizes he has no choice, he has to go all out to get this project back for VINCE or his career as Hollywood’s top agent might be over.

SCENE 5 - ED BURNS’S OFFICE - AFTERNOON
DRAMA walks in, somewhat apprehensive. BURNS, sitting at his desk, seems somber. He tells DRAMA that the pilot didn’t get picked up for 12 episodes like they had hoped it would. DRAMA begins to flip out. All the angst of JOHNNY DRAMA explodes at what seems to be another failure in an unending line. Before DRAMA destroys his office, BURNS says that the pilot actually got picked up for 24 episodes. DRAMA is jubilant, and even busts out the “Victory!” war cry.

ACT II
SCENE 1 - PAUL HAGGIS’S OFFICE - AFTERNOON
ARI enters HAGGIS’S office and immediately drops to his knees. He begs for PAUL to put VINCE back on Medellin. HAGGIS, shocked to see ARI GOLD prostrate before him, is taken aback. He tells ARI to get up and that he’ll call Del Toro’s people and see what he can do. HAGGIS picks up the phone and dials. ARI nervously listens as PAUL exchanges “Yeah”s and “I see”s on the phone. HAGGIS hangs up the phone and explains that Del Toro wants this movie more than anything in the world and refuses to drop it. ARI is crushed. HAGGIS then mentions that the role of Diego Murillo is till open. ARI has no idea who that is. HAGGIS says it is an important role in the movie and that’s the best he can do for VINCE. While exiting, VINCE calls LLOYD and tells him to Google Diego Murillo and try to get ERIC on the phone.

SCENE 2 - ENTOURAGE HOUSE - EVENING
VINCE, ERIC, and TURTLE watch a baseball game on TV. DRAMA enters on cloud nine. He tells the family the good news. VINCE thinks they should go celebrate, but TURTLE asks how they’d pay for it. DRAMA says “Don’t worry bro, I’m gonna be there to support you through this hard time.” VINCE feigns gratitude but is horrified at this concept, as is ERIC. DRAMA’S phone rings. He answers and says he’ll call them back later. He mentions that his phone has been ringing off the hook all day with agencies looking to represent him. Oddly, they all want VINCE to go with him for their introduction meetings. TURTLE suggests that agencies want to get DRAMA in order to get VINCE as well. DRAMA doubts it but says that the Chase brothers are now a legitimate double threat. ERIC asks who has DRAMA spoken to. DRAMA checks his call history. “All of the big names except for ANDY LEFT.” ERIC suggests that maybe LEFT actually has some integrity and won’t hire VINCE or DRAMA because of what he thinks ERIC said to his ASSISTANT over the phone. VINCE decides that LEFT is the agent he wants, someone with integrity and character; unlike ARI whose dishonesty and conniving cost them the Ramones movie.

SCENE 3 - ARI’S CAR - EVENING
ARI is driving, his phone rings. It’s LLOYD back at the office. LLOYD explains that Diego Murillo was a member of Pablo Escobar’s cartel until he turned against Escobar and joined the underground anti-Escobar movement in Columbia. Murillo eventually became a drug kingpin himself. LLOYD tells ARI that the part in the movie isn’t as good as Escobar’s, but the character is still very good and VINCE should enjoy doing it. ARI says he’ll go to VINCE with it, but he needs to find him. He asks LLOYD to use the network of gay assistant’s to see if VINCE is meeting with anyone else.

SCENE 4 - ENTOURAGE HOUSE - EVENING
ERIC calls ANDY LEFT’S office. His ASSISTANT answers. Once he learns it is ERIC calling, he hangs up.

SCENE 5 - LLOYD’S HOUSE, HOT TUB - NIGHT
LLOYD sits in his hot tub. LEFT’S ASISSTANT enters with a glass of Champaign. The ASSISTANT mentions that ERIC called ANDY a fag over the phone. LLOYD tells him that ERIC is the only nice person in Hollywood and would never call ANDY a fag. The ASSISTANT asks if it was ARI maneuvering. LLOYD denies any knowledge, but he insists ERIC wouldn’t call anyone a fag. THE ASSISTANT believes him and says “Well, I guess I’ll call him back tomorrow and set up a meeting between VINCE and ANDY.”

ACT III
SCENE 1 - ENTOURAGE HOUSE - NEXT MORNING
ERIC and VINCE are shooting pool. VINCE misses a shot and snaps. “Fuck!” ERIC asks what’s wrong. VINCE rethinks out loud his decisions over the past few months, passing on Aquaman 2, buying the $20,000 sneakers, even firing ARI. VINCE even goes so far as to suggest that maybe he needs entirely new representation: new agent, new publicist, and new manager. ERIC is speechless. Then his phone rings, it’s ANDY’S ASSISTANT. He apologizes for the misidentification of ERIC and asks to set up a lunch meeting. ERIC agrees. Smugly, ERIC tells VINCE the good news.

SCENE 2 - ARI’S OFFICE - MORNING
ARI comes into the office, LLOYD is waiting for him. LLOYD tells ARI that LEFT and VINCE have a lunch meeting and tells ARI where it is. Sarcastically, ARI offers his body to LLOYD if this works out. ARI departs the office for the restaurant.

SCENE 3 - OUTSIDE RESTAURANT - MIDDAY
ERIC, VINCE, TURTLE, and DRAMA roll up in the Hummer. They get out, walk down the sidewalk then turn the corner to see ARI standing there. VINCE tells ARI to go away. ARI stands his ground. He then gets down on his knees and apologizes. “I told you, ARI, it’s too late!” says ERIC. ARI then hands VINCE a few pieces of paper stapled together. “Who the fuck is Diego Murillo?” says VINCE. VINCE gives the papers to ERIC. ERIC reads them and says “This actually looks like a decent part, VINCE. Not the lead, but a good role.” VINCE realizes that ARI understands what he wants and what he likes to do and that it would take time to build up that kind of understanding with another agent. TURTLE asks how much the role pays. ARI says it pays about the same as Escobar if VINCE agrees to do it. Two stars in one movie equals blockbuster. Reluctantly, VINCE accepts ARI’S apology. He agrees to go back with ARI so long as ARI agrees not to fuck him over again like he did with the Ramones movie. The two hug it out. ERIC goes into the restaurant to give the bad news to ANDY LEFT.

SCENE 4 - INSIDE RESTAURANT - CONT.
ERIC approaches LEFT in the restaurant. ERIC explains that they’ve decided to go back to VINCE. LEFT is very aggravated. He feels jerked around by VINCE and ARI. He vows to join the ever increasing list of VINCE and ARI’S enemies (TERRENCE, WEINSTEIN, Warner Brothers, and dozens of others). He promises to do everything in his power to fuck over VINCE, and ARI whenever he can in the future.

THE END

My Wednesdays Blow

Every week, I'm scheduled to have 875 minutes, or 14 hours, 35 minutes of class time. 400 of those minutes, almost half, are on Wednesdays. I thought I could do it, but it is really starting to grade on me.

I start off with Persuasive Argument, dealing with that annoying girl who just doesn't get it. Today we were talking about stem cell research and how different sides of the argument use different types of arguments to be convincing. Out of the blue and for no reason she talks about how scientists are close to finding a new method to get stem cells. She's just wasting everybody's time. Even the teacher doesn't like her.

Then I get 75 minutes of Fiction Film Theory, which I need a dictionary and a thesaurus to understand. I'm a smart guy, but some of the words used in this class confuse the fuck out of me. Then the professor asks these long, drawn out questions that start off sounding like paragraphs. So I'm there, thinking I'm listening to her lecture, and all of a sudden she turns it into a question. Honestly, I don't know what the fuck the question is. Thankfully, she only calls on you if your hand is raised.

I have a 45 minute lull in between classes. It's useless. I can't really get much done in 45 minutes, especially if 10 to 15 of those are spent smoking, and 10 more walking. I usually go to the computer lab and check my e-mail.

75 minutes of Macroeconomics isn't bad, but the last 20 minutes are brutal. After listening to the professor talk about aggregate supply curves and Real GDP vs. Potential GDP, you just want to nap. Which is what I do.

From 5:15 PM to 7 PM, I'm off, and I usually sleep.

At 7, I have a 3:20 screening. The same class as my 2:00, by the way. The professor has used this time more and more for her lecturing. I get 75 minutes of her in the afternoon, then another 60 to 90 at night. It's painful. I've begun leaving early from the screenings because my mind is burnt after so much lecturing.

It isn't all bad though. After 10:20 PM, I feel as though my week is essentially over. Only 3 classes and 200 minutes of class-time left before the weekend. But, I miss Lost a lot, and I can't go out drinking due to homework so my Wednesday really does blow.

Midterm Grades

Here's what I think of my classes so far.

Persuasive Argument: Not a lot of work, but not a lot of writing. One major grade at the end of the yea. Some of the people in the class are annoying, too. Well, one is. This girl just doesn't get it. We'll be talking about rhetorical principles and theories and using tax laws as an example and she'll go off on a tangent about the tax benefits of aoption. What the fuck? Overrall, I give the class a B+.

Macroeconomics. Straight up lecture, no critical thought, just 75 minutes twice a week of taking notes. Not very exciting, but not very stressful. B+

Colonial History: Too much busy work combined with a 15 page research paper. Waaaaaaaaaaay too much busy work. Watching Colonial House makes it somewhat better. C

Writing for Series TV: Writing scripts, watching TV. Don't get much better than that. A+

Fiction Film Theory: 75 minute lecture, then 30 to 90 minutes of lecturing before watching a movie. Class only meets on Wednesdays, but it is a long fucking meeting. Too much buzz words and jargon. D

Psychosomatic Addict Insane

Get the Prodigy reference?

Sooooooooooooooo, I went to Massachusetts over fall break. I had intended on staying in Verona and making some $$$, but it seemed as though my kidneys were hurting. They were really bugging me and I was worried so I went home to see my doctor in a real hospital. No offense, Central NY, but I don't trust your hospitals.

Getting to my doctor's hospital - The Faulkner - in Boston worried me. I had a 9:45 AM appointment. Driving on the VFW Parkway into Boston at anytime is difficult and traffic-filled, but during rush hour and it is scary and slow. Furthermore, there was massive road work being done on the VFW. I left an hour before my appointment to drive the 10 miles to the Faulkner.

The VFW was a piece of cake. All the road work scared everyone else away to detours. I've never seen it so empty at 9 AM. It was actually a pleasure to drive on.

So, I get to the doctor's, tell him I have kidney pains. "No you don't" says my doctor. Slightly stunned, I explained that it felt like I did. "It's very unusual for men, especially young men, to develop urinary tract infections. And if it's going as far up as your kidneys, it would have to be a massive infection." So he sent me to get bloodwork done and told me to call on Monday. I wait around the whole weekend, avoided drinking, then on Monday, after missing classes, I find out there was absolutely nothing wrong with me at all.

So what the fuck? These pains I was feeling were really fucking bad. Then I get disruptions in my pissing routine. Why? Because I'm fucking insane. The pains I was feeling were probably just lower back pains brought on from being out of shape, and having bad posture. I've had them before. I thought they were in my kidneys because I've felt kidney pain before when I had the kidney stone. Then the whole peeing misfunction was probably a psychosomatic response to the notion that I thought my kidneys were hurting. I was also drinking more fluids so that probably made me have to go more often.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychosomatic_illness

Tops

A few things I thought about at Tops while sending my money order to PokerStars.

The lobsters looked and smelled horrible. Honestly, I don't know how upstate New Yorkers can eat the shitty seafood out here. It sounds like I'm an elitist or a yuppie or something, but the seafood here is fucking shite. Seafood isn't my favorite food anyway, but if it isn't fresh, it's crap. Fresh seafood, on the other hand, is very good. By fresh, I mean one or two days out of the ocean fresh.

Tops and Wegman's are essentially the same place. Both 24 hours, both with good selection of food, both with similar prices. I really don't have a preference. Although, Wegmans brand soda is better than Tops, but Wegmans tortures chickens.

Checkout lines are fucking ridiculous. I stood in line for 25 minutes waiting to buy a 6 pack of Mountain Dews. I could have used the automated checkout, but that thing always gives me problems. I'm probably just retarded.

I think grocery stores should allow you to purchase items online, then pick them up at the store. Think about it, you pick out your shit online, pay with a credit card, then tell them when you want to pick the groceries up. Going shopping would be a much smaller inconvenience, and there'd be no time wasted walking around the store, looking for your stuff, and then waiting in the checkout line. At the store, someone could go around and get your order together. This would obviously result in a surcharge for the service, but the reduced man-hours in checkout lines and shopping cart wrangling could make up for it. Plus, let's say Tops offered it, but Wegman's didn't, then Tops would receive a great deal more business.

Random Shit

Drew Bledsoe's career as a starting QB might be coming to an end very soon. He's had a long career and I'm surprised he's lasted this long considering the amount of times he's been hit.

Kenny Rogers cheated, but we'll never really know for sure.

There's a camel on Route 206 in Broome County. Swear to God. I was driving there on Thursday and passed by signs saying "Caution: Camel." I thought they were a joke, then I saw a camel chilling in the front yard of a farm house.

Boston Billiards has the hottest waitresses and bartenders in the city.

XM Radio is broadcasting too much talk on its music stations. XM 66 Raw used to be my favorite station due to its non-stop play of uncensored hardcore rap. Now, for some shows, its about 30 to 40% talk. It is aggravating because I love XM for its high volume of music and low volume of talk.

If you're driving somewhat fast (50 MPH or faster), stick your hand out the window, place your finger right behind the rear view mirror. There is no wind there. Then place your finger at the bottom edge of the mirror. The wind is warm there, even if its cold out. Then place your finger below the mirror. The wind is cold there. Physics!

The Italian chicken sandwich at Burger King is back!

If you answer this question right, you know a little something about Hold Em. You hold Ace-Queen of clubs, your opponent holds pocket Kings. The flop is 2 of clubs, 3 of clubs, 5 of hearts. Are you more likely to win the hand, or lose the hand?

My wireless keyboard is awesome.

The St. Louis Cardinals and Detroit Tigers have a combined payroll that is about $20 million lower than the New York Yankees.

While driving on I-87 south of Albany, a New Jersey unmarked police car used its flashing lights to convince drivers to get out of the way so it could pass them. It was an instance of aggressive driving that has given me new respect for New Jersey, and inspire me to consider installing flashing lights in my car.

Cars with the bumper sticker "This Car Climbed Mt. Washington" should also carry the bumper sticker saying "There's a Road to the Top of Mt. Washington, and as far as mountains go, Washington isn't that big at 6,288 feet"

The Mount Washington musical is still in pre-production.

The answer to the poker question was that Ace-Queen of clubs is more likely to win than the pocket Kings. Although the pair of Kings held by your opponent is the better hand at that point, AQ has a massive amount of outs. Any Ace makes a higher pair (3 cards to help you), any 4 makes you a straight (4 cards), and any club makes you a flush (8 more cards). There are 45 cards left in the deck, and 15 of them make your hand a winner. With two cards coming, you get 2 chances to hit those cards. Moreover, the pocket Kings has little redraw potential. There's only one King in the deck that will improve his hand to the point at which it eliminates some of your outs. The King of clubs gives you a flush, but it does give him some outs. Even so, if you turn the straight or the flush, the hand is over and you've won. If you hit an Ace, he only has 1 out. If you hit a Queen on the turn, it gives you 2 additional outs. You will win this hand 52.93% of the time, lose it 45.25%, and tie 1.82% of the time.

More Losing Bets

I can't seem to get much right in my betting. Right now I'm losing $10.68 for every $100 bet. Seattle dropped the ball, Buffalo played like crap (I figured they'd play just as close as they did a few weeks ago), and neither Arizona or Oakland suffered a major defensive meltdown as I figured one of them would. Oh well.

If soap gets dirty, how do you wash it?

The Island

So the other day I watched The Island. At the time, I didn't know who had directed it. Had I known, I wouldn't have bothered to watch it.

It started off nicely. A bunch of oblivious people who are actually organ banks for wealthy individuals. When the wealthy people on the outside need an organ, the clones on the inside apparently win a lottery but actually wind up being killed.

The plot was very similar to another movie I've seen. The 1979 piece of shit Parts: The Clonus Horror which features Peter Graves, who is actually 80 years old now but still working, mostly as a voice actor.

The basic concepts of the two films are incredibly similar. Young man in an insulated environment, doubts the truth of his surroundings, falls in love with a girl he shouldn't be in love with, doubts the legitimacy of the reward of getting out of the community, learns the nature of the environment, escapes, tries to find his original copy, chasing ensues.

The major differences in story-lines are the specifics of the love story, the exact nature of the clone community, and the end result of all the struggling.

So anyways, back to The Island. It started off very nicely. Good characters, good characterization, solid acting, good cinematography (essentially stolen from Minority Report with lots of very bright, white scenes with ultra-hard lighting), and the foundations of what seemed to be an interesting, poignant, disturbing and complete movie to watch.

Then Scarlett Johannson showed up and my enjoyment of the movie soared. She's very sexy and very talented. Plus she spends most of the movie in a white suit that is tight in all the right places.
.

Then all hell breaks loose. Ewan McGregor finds out the truth, escapes with Scarlett, and chase scene after chase scene follows. Two new characters are introduced. Ewan McGregor's original copy, and the African dude from Gladiator who is one of two black characters with significant lines.

These two new characters actually have a good dichotomy in that one seems good (a convivial, jovial Scotsman who is attracted to Scarlett) but turns out to be bad, and the other seems bad (a former SEAL turned private mercenary whose skin tone is black as the Ace of spades (black in movies almost always equals evil, unfortunately)), who turns out to be good. But neither of these characters have much depth. They both have complex sequences of actions, but we never learn much about their motivations. For example, the former SEAL decides to turn into a good guy almost on a whim. He mentions that he was once branded in an ethnic cleansing campaign. Then he decides to help out Scarlett Johansson. He goes from trying to recapture her to trying to help her escape in one fucking scene! If I wrote a sequence like that in Screenwriting class, Professor Nonas's red pen would be out of ink.

The movie ends with chase scenes leading into chase scenes, leading into a vague enlightening of the clones caused by Ewan and Scarlett. There's also a token climactic battle to the death between Ewan and the 100% evil mastermind of the clone compound. Then the clones are released and everyone is happy.

Then the words "Directed by Michael Bay" appeared on the screen, and it all made sense to me. The unoriginal storyline, the hackneyed directing techniques, the cliched characters, the over abundance of overly elaborate action sequences, and the over-simplified clash between good and evil at the end of the movie are all staples of a Bay film.

This movie really pissed me off. It had such potential to be good and interesting. The limit to two primary characters and only a few secondary characters could have given the audience really good, in depth character analysis and development. The relevance of cloning in a political and moral sense was also not utilized. The viewer isn't left with anything at the end of the movie except for satisfaction that the clones got away. No moral questions are raised by this movie. Michael Bay did to cloning movies what he did to World War II movies. He fucking ruined them for at least 20 years.

The 1979 movie was better than The Island. And it was so terrible it was featured on an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000.

But what do you expect from a guy whose directorial debut was Playboy Video Centerfold: Kerri Kendall?

Bad Bets

$50 on OVER 48 in WVU @ UConn game: push
$50 on Rutgers +6.5 at Pitt: win
$50 on Ole Miss +20.5 at Arkansas: loss
$50 on Notre Dame -13 vs. UCLA: loss
$50 on Auburn -32 vs. Tulane: loss
$100 on Iowa +13.5 at Michigan: loss (by 0.5 point)
$50 on Miami -17.5 at Duke: loss
$100 on Texas -5 at Nebraska: loss (Texas missed 2 FGs and an XP)
$50 on Oklahoma -14 vs. Colorado: win
$50 on Boston College +7 at FSU: win

-$250 weekend. Now I'm -$100 in my first week of fake sports betting. Not good. But I'm seeing the mistakes I'm making. With about 50 I-A games this weekend, it was very tempting to make a lot of bets. But college games have much larger spreads. I figured teams would cover these more easily, but accurately predicting WHICH teams could cover these large spreads proved difficult. Of the bets on games with spreads over 10, I only got 1 right, and that was an easy one. OU at home against Colorado is a no brainer. The odds were low because Oklahoma lost Peterson.

I should have also put more money into the games I was more sure of. BC +7 was huge, so was OU -14, Rutgers +6.5, Texas -5, and Iowa +13.5. Although I would have still lost those last 2 bets, they were the right bets to make.

So what'd I learn from 1 week of betting?
1. An isolated bet on a soccer game featuring a home team you know nothing about, don't place bets especially with 11/10 odds.
2. Placing a bet too large on one single game is not a good idea
3. Placing too many bets on large spread games is not a good idea. College football offers a great deal of options to place bets, but that doesn't mean you should increase the number of bets.

OK, time for my NFL bets:
$100 on Buffalo +5.5 vs. New England
$100 on Atlanta +1.5 vs. Pittsburgh
$100 on NY Jets -3.5 vs. Detroit
$100 on OVER 39.5 Arizona at Oakland
$200 on Seattle -6.5 vs. Minnesota

We'll see how that works out.

Sports Bets

Won $200 on Game 7 of the NLCS.

I'm going to put $50 on the over of 48 in the WVU, UConn game. I'm going tio put $50 on Rutgers +6.5 at Pitt. $50 on Ole Miss +20.5 at Arkansas. $50 on Notre Dame -13 vs. UCLA. $50 on Auburn -32 vs. Tulane. $100 on Iowa +13.5 at Michigan. $50 on Miami -17.5 at Duke. $100 on Texas -5 at Nebraska. $50 on Oklahoma -14 vs. Colorado. $50 on Boston College +7 at Florida State.

Islington Pizza Incident

So I stop in for lunch with Cav at Islington Pizza. I pull into my space out back, then I notice some dude lying face down in the leaves. We get out of the car, and I ask him if he's okay. He says he's fine, he's just "lying down." Then he asks me for some ice water. I tell him I'm going to get some.

I go into Islington Pizza, order a few slices, then tell the guy behind the counter that there's some dude lying down in the leaves. The guy behind the counter takes a peak outside, then asks me what he should do about it. I have no idea. He asks me if he should go across the street and tell the Fire Department. I shrug and say "Yeah, I think you should tell someone about it, lying face down in wet leaves isn't normal."

So the guy walks across the street to the Islington FD. A few minutes later, the Westwood Police shows up in a cruiser. They start talking to the guy who is now sitting down in wet leaves. Then, out of nowehre, this guy in a sport coat walks up to the police officer and the leaves guy. From our vantage point in Islington Pizza, we couldn't see what was really going on, just that the three of them were talking.

Me: Who the hell is the third guy there?
Cav: I don't know...must be The Town Cool Guy or somethin

That's what this guy was, he was just a cool guy, showing up to make sure things were chill and there weren't any hassles, hang-ups, or baggage. The cop put the leaves guy into the back of the cruiser, and they drove away. The Cool Guy? He just walked off behind the pizza place and disapeared.

Hope-A-Tron

Hope-A-Tron: noun, (Hope uh trawn)
1. A derogatory insult for a poor poker player
2. A player who hopes his terrible hand is good
3. A player who hopes his gutshot draw will hit on the river
4. A player who hopes his stupidity will be countered by overwhelming good luck
5. A player who hopes I didn't notice his hands shake when he had Aces, or his breathing increase when he was bluffing
6. A player who hopes Big Slick hits on the turn
7. A player who winds up giving me money

The Love of My Life Might Be Gone For Good

She just doesn't love me, I guess. According to tabloids, Natalie Portman is dating Nat Rothschild, the heir apparent to the Rothschild banking family. This guy was born into a tremendous amount of money, is 10 years older than Natalie, has the same fucking name as Natalie, is English, is already a divorcee, and has never had to work a fucking day in his life. Yes, he is rich as fuck, but only because Mayer Amschel Rothschild started setting up banks across Europe in the 1700's. Do you know how fucking easy it is to make money at banking? All you need is capital to set up the business, then its interest accumulating upon itself for years and years. This fucking limey Nat Rothschild is reaping the benefits of a 200 year old seed he didn't even sew.

Natalie, he's not right for you. He may be an English baron, but I have a very loose claim on the Arch-Duchy of Saxe-Zeitz in Germany. Last time I checked, Dukes are higher than Barons.

Back in Mass

Ever since Monday morning, there's been a growing problem. When I woke up that day, I had a slight pain in my left side. I thought maybe I slept on it wrong. But it didn't go away. Then on Tuesday the pain was stronger and concentrated around my kidney. By the end of the day, both kidneys were feeling shitty. I was also very tired, more tired than usual. Wednesday morning I felt fucking terrible. I went to class, then took a midterm.

This fall break, I was planning on playing a lot of poker at the Turning Stone. There's a few big tournaments going on this weekend, and the tournaments bring in players to play the side games. I had intended to play about 70 hours of poker in a few marathon sessions. Abitbol had gotten a few rooms for the weekend and I could have slept in one of those in between 30 hour sessions.

After I blew through my midterm (about 750 words about a movie I didn't see), I drove up to the casino. I didn't feel very well, but I figured if I could make it through this weekend, I could then see a doctor and figure out what the fuck was going on.

I played for a few hours, but I started feeling worse and worse. Even though I wasn't drinking too many fluids, I was having to go piss about once an hour. That's very bizarre for me. I pride myself on my ability to hold it in (personal record is 5 hours since the initial feeling of having to go), but I felt like I HAD to go quickly. This was obviously an indicator of something not very good happening.

The good news is that my illness wasn't affecting the way I played. I played very well, made some good bets, won a few hands and made a few bucks. I even tried out Omaha Hi/Lo for a few hands. Omaha is the game in which you get dealt 4 cards, then there's a flop, turn, and river. Hi/Lo means the best hand wins half the pot, the worst hand wins the other half. It's a confusing game, but if you know what you're doing, you clean up.

By the end of the night, I felt fucking aweful. I was in a great deal of pain, it felt like I had to piss even right after I went, and I was running a bit of a fever. The decision was simple. Stay at Turning Stone, not sleeping, drinking Red Bulls, and eating chicken tenders; or go to Boston, see a good doctor in a good hospital and figure out what the problem is. So I drove to Ithaca that night, packed, slept, then drove to Norwood this afternoon.

Sports Bet

$200 on St. Louis tonight. Suppan vs. Perez. Mets are favored at -117, but the Cards will win it.

Small Gripes About My Apartment

I like my apartment. It's close to campus, and it's a solid apartment. But some things have been agitating me as of late.

First of all, the parking situation. Eight people live in this building, but there's only room for 7 cars to park. You can imagine that this causes problems on a nightly basis. At the moment, there are two cars parked on the grass, one of which is on a grass embankment and looks like it was crashed there.

Now, imagine if residents invite someone over, or someone parks their car improperly, thus reducing spaces. The problem gets even worse.

When I go up to the casino, I often come back at around 3 or 4 AM. This makes me last to return to the parking lot and consequentially, I'm odd man out. It's like a fucking game of musical chairs. I've been forced to park on Kendall because of this problem.

Another problem, there's about a million bugs in this building. Not truly filthy bugs like roaches, but there's a ton of moths, horseflies and somewhat large (and fucking fast) spiders. They'll probably go away in the winter, but living here this summer will be a fucking gross out.

Did I mention I'm terrified of bugs. I think it's because they're smaller than me yet have more legs. I don't like that creatures a fraction of my size have locomotion systems much more complex than mine.

Fantasy Sports Gambling

I took a nosedive on Arsenal today. They lost to CSKA Moscow 1-0. I shouldv'e known better. It wasn't until today that I learned that Arsenal has NEVER won a competetive match played East of the Iron Curtain. Oh, well, $150 down after that. I also didn't know enough about CSKA Moscow to be placing bets on a game played IN Moscow. Also, Arsenal were victims of a few key injuries to their players during qualifying for Euro 2008.

Thankfully, the Cardinals bailed me out by beating the Mets 4-2. So I'm only down $50 since I started. Three stupid bets though, $300 on the Ravens, $150 on Arsenal in Russia.

Rite Aid Sucks

Freshman year, Rite Aid was my favorite store in Ithaca. Their lenient IDing and their abundance of beer and 40's made them a weekly stop for the beer run. Things got better when TJ and I met. He liked the bumper stickers on my old car. I had about 5 Red Sox stickers, a Bruins sticker, a Pats sticker, and 4 stickers saying that the Yankees, or one of the Yankees Sucked and/or Swallowed. TJ didn't card me. Nor did he charge me full price. Often, I got beer 2 for 1. One time I bought 3 thirty racks, some shampoo, some Coke for mixing, and a carton of smokes and he only charged me for the smokes.

Sophomore year, shit started going down hill. TJ and the other kids that worked there were replaced. The new staff had to wear uniforms and they were strict about IDs and beer sales. The people that worked there weren't very happy either.

I just went down to Rite Aid for some ketchup, shampoo, and cranberry juice. The atmosphere in there was very depressed. I said "hi" to the cashier who just stared at me with empty eyes. I was happy to be gone from there. I got the feeling that I could walk in there with an Uzi, rob the place, and the people working there would be disappointed that I didn't shoot them and put them out of their misery.

What a Gigantic Fucking Hassle

With winter fast approaching and the rolling hills of Central New York soon to be covered in snow, driving to the Turning Stone to play poker will soon become too difficult to do on a consistent basis. So, in order to keep my income steady, I will be forced to play online poker.

I don't like online poker. I don't like not being able to see my opponents. In live games, I can usually put people on hands by looking at their eyes, hands, and breathing. I can fold monster hands when they're crushed in live games. In online games, it's a different story. And my style is dependant on my ability to get away from big hands that are crushed.

But online offers much more convenience. I can play any day, play in between classes, and can play at any time. There are more tournaments online and they're cheaper to buy into.

The biggest advantage to online poker is the number of hands you can play compared to live games. Considering the 3 total hours of driving back and forth to Turning Stone to play, plus the slower rate of hands dealt at casinos, plus the ability to play at multiple tables online, playing online means a more productive use of time.

At Turning Stone, you'll get dealt about 30 hands in an hour. Online, it's 60. So let's say you have 8 hours one day with which to play poker. Driving to the Stone will result in losing 3 of those hours. In the 5 hours of playing (assuming you don't have to wait long for a table), you'll see 150 hands. That is the same number of hands you can get playing 1 table online for 2 and a half hours.

Let's say you use the 8 hours to play online and on 3 tables at once. You'll get dealt 1440 hands, almost 10 times as many as in the live game. If you're a good player, that means 10 times as much profit.

Despite my preferences to play live games, playing online is just something I have to do considering my class schedule and the upcoming bad weather. It is also a smart business decision. If I can do well in online poker, my bankroll will skyrocket.

There is one inconvenience with online poker. You've got to somehow get money to them. In the age of technology this should be easy. But I can assure you, it is not.

I had intended to play on PokerRoom. I tried using my VISA debit card to sign up, but Visa doesn't do business with gambling sites. So I had to sign up to NETeller, which is an intermediary company that takes money from your bank account, then puts it in online poker sites or other online ventures.

After verifying myself to NETeller, I had to verify my bank account. However, Bank of America wouldn't let me do that. They don't do business with online gambling sites.

I tried depositing $ on Poker Room tonight, but they close their site to non-deposited players during peak hours. I tried UltimateBet to see what their deposit methods were. Once again, tried Visa to no avail. Tried NETeller again...nope. Then I tried using Click2Pay, for some reason they banned my account the second it was created.

I moved on to PokerStars. Poker Stars has the most traffic online since PartyPoker stopped doing business with Americans. This means the players are generally worse, and the games are softer. I decided to sign up with them and give depositing a shot.

I encountered similar problems. I tried eChecks, and was not approved (probably Bank of America and Visa again). I then decided to try Western Union. You can send mnoney online via Western Union, and although you have to pay a fee, Bank of America can't fuck with you.

So I sent the money, to some random guy in Costa Rica that PokerStars told me to send it to. I then had to call up WU and confirm the order. After some trouble with my address (my mailing address is in Ithaca, my official address is in Norwood), the transaction was about to go through. Then:

Operator: Do you know the person you're sending money to?
Me: No, but I know the company the person represents
Operator: Which company is it?
Me: Poker Stars
Operator: Oh, we're not allowed to send transfers to gambling sites, sorry. You're transaction will be cancelled, but you can go to a Western Union location and do the transfer yourself

Fucking hell! I'm going to do that tomorrow afternoon, I guess. Topps has a Western Union, so after class I'll go down there and send some money to a dude in San Jose, Costa Rica.

What a major fucking annoyance.

Also, the Bears did not cover the 12 point spread tonight, so I'm even with my fake sports gambling so far. My big mistake was putting half my football bets on one game. I was failry confident in that one, but I made it so that one game would make my weekend unprofitable or even detrimental. I made 4 bets, was right with 3 of them, but still only broke even.

Tomorrow I'll see if I can break into profitability with Arsenal and the St. Louis Cardinals.

Future Funeral

So I called my mother yesterday and she told me my grandfather is pretty sick. He's in his late 80''s and this is probably the end.

Today a black crow was perched on a lampost outside of Park. He was completely quiet until I walked by. He started squaking very loudly, then when I was past him, he stopped squaking. Crows are notorious signs in my family. When a crow flew into my mother's house years ago, her father died the next day. When a crow flew into my mother's classroom 11 years ago, my father died a few weeks later. This April, a crow flew over my head outside of Friends and 20 minutes later my mother called me to tell me my grandmother died. Crows=death for a member of my family.

My grandfather led a long, full life so I am not all that sad. It sucks, but it's part of life. I've been through many other family deaths before so I think I'll be able to handle it.

It's going to be weird though. Once again, just like in April, I'll drive out to western New York, stay with my brother and mother, go to a funeral, probably be a pall bearer, and we'll go through the same routine at the same funeral home, the same church and the same cemetary. I'll probably be wearing the same clothes as last time. I only own one nice shirt and I bought it for Grandma's funeral.

I just think it's weird to do the same thing again. Death is inevitable, but it is amazing to me that my grandfather's death will be a redux of my grandmother's death.

I feel bad for my Aunt. She had to go through her brother's death 11 years ago and will now be going through the death of both her parents within a one year time frame.

Moments like these make me realize how isolated I am in Ithaca. The closest member of my family is about an hour away, and the closest immediate family members are back in Norwood, 6 hours away. I sometimes feel very alone out here, which is both good and bad.

Fantasy Sports Gambling

Lost $300 on the Baltimore game. However, the G-Men won, and the Titans and Skins went over so if arizona loses by 11 or less, I wouldv'e broken even on the weekend.

I'm going to take St. Louis to win tonight's NLCS game for $150. Mets are favored at -130.

For Tuesday, I'm betting $100 on Arsenal beating CSKA Moscow (11/10), and I'm betting $50 on a score of 3-1 (8/1).

Fantasy Betting

OK, I am a big sports fan, and that really doesn't help me much financially. But, if I can become a good sports bettor, I can utilize my endless hours of sports watching/reading/writing to make a good deal of money. So I'm going to start placing fake bets on sports, ranging from $100 to $1,000 each. I'm going to see how I do and if betting on sports could be a feasible and relatively consistent source of income.

Here we go:

October 15th
$100 on OVER 40.5 in Tennessee @ Washington
$100 on NY Giants +3 @ Atlanta
$300 on Baltimore -3 vs. Carolina
$100 on Arizona +12 vs. Chicago

X Gonna Give it to Ya

Going back to Xaverian always seems more and more surreal every time I go. Maybe it's because I'm further removed from there, or maybe it's because my return trips have become spaced out farther and farther apart.

I went home to Massachusetts this weekend because I needed a break from Ithaca. I've been there for the better part of 10 months straight. I tend to need breaks from places after awhile. I just get sick of them. The same routine, the same people, the same things to do, the same food to eat, et cetera. You need a change of pace to keep yourself sane.

Anyways, I noticed on Thursday reading Boston.com that Xaverian was playing Everett this Saturday in Westwood. Xaverian's ranked 5th, Everett 1st in the state. It was something to do on a Saturday afternoon so Cav and I went there.

I'm just gonna say that it was flat out weird to go there. You spend 4 years at a place, then you leave, but it still exists. It changes, but it also kind of stops in time. Both the differences and the similarities weird you out.

Seeing Coach Crowley, my track & field coach, wearing the same 2001 State Champions jacket that he wore back when I went there was fucking weird. It's as if he was frozen in time from my graduation and thawed out for me when I returned. Juxtaposed with Crowley was Dr. Pirozzi, one of my theology teachers. He's gotten much older in appearance these past few years. He's also now driving a '79 Kawasaki bike.

Even though there's a new bunch of upper-middle class white kids going to Xaverian, they all still seem the same as the mass of XBHS kids that went there when I went there. The ridiculous Boston accents, the massive amount of Red Sox hats, the Xaverian sweatshirts, and the same basic attitudes and nuances of Xaverian kids. The legacy lives on.

One thing that seemed to change were the girls. They looked pretty much the same as the girls that went to games when I went to Xaverian, but from my perspective, they looked like kids. I remember how hot I thought those girls were back when I was in high school. Now, they can't even hold a candle to the girls my age. I also felt like a pervert cuz there were a few girls I found attractive, but I might be like 4 or 5 years older than them.

There was one moment when DMX's "X Gonna Give it to Ya" was played on the stadium loudspeakers. That was just ludicrous to me. They never played music at games when I was a student, except for Amazing Grace and the Star Spangled Banner. DMX cracked that barrier though.

There were Xaverian cheerleaders there, too. They were from Fontbonne, but still, it was odd. They were pretty shitty too. Worst pyramids, EVER.

One of the strangest sights was Ms. Douglass...with her baby. I remember Ms. Douglass was one of the few oasises of feminine beauty in an environment composed of 1,000 men and maybe 10 women. She was still pretty attractive, too. I wanted to say "hello" to her, but I didn't know if she'd recognize me. I've lost about 40 pounds since I went to Xaverian, and gained about 30 pounds of hair. I do my best to avoid unnecessary awkwardness whenever possible.

The day was topped off with a short encounter with Mr. Chris Chimilinski. No day is complete without a moment with Chima.

It's good going back there, but definately fucking weird as shit for me.

Oh yeah, X lost 28-14 to E. X vs. E, battle of the nicknames for ecstacy.