300

So I illegally downloaded and watched 300 the other day. It probably would have been better to see it in theatres with the sound layering (blockbuster Hollywood movies have a large number of sound layers, I forget the exact number but it's fucking high), and the actual FILM being screened. But hey, what are you gonna do?

I have to say that I liked it. It was pretty bad ass. It was essentially one long fight scene, repeated over and over again. It grew a bit tiring, but you found yourself rooting for the Spartans. But you don't root for them to live, you root for them to win or die trying. That was pretty bad ass. You don't want to see them surrender. you'd rather watch them die.

It wasn't too complex of a movie, though. I deleted the file right after watching it, because I don't think I'll ever watch it again, unless it's on TV.

Historically, they got the battle of Thermopylae down, at least thematically. There were details that were ignored for cinematic reasons. Let me just say that people who complain about historical inaccuracies in historical fiction should be dragged behind a Buick for 10 miles. It's historical FICTION. In the real battle of Thermopylae, 300 Spartans defended the Hot Gates, but were accompanied by 700 Thespians, and 1,400 other Greeks. But the movie doesn't work so well if you throw in 2,700 other non-Spartans after we've focused on the Spartans for so long.

The battle scenes were pretty cool, then they got a bit old. They had a very Lord of the Rings quality to them, especially when non-humans attacked, like the Persian phantoms, and the gigantic elephants. I was expecting Legolas to come sliding down one of their trunks firing off arrows.

The narration was nice sometimes, but a bit unnecessary at others.

Xerxes was simply too ridiculous, and the movie ventured off into Too Fucking Weird territory way too often, with the piggish priests, and the fucked up monsters, and what the fuck was the deal with the guy who had crab claws for arms?

The best part of the movie would have been when Leonidas yells "THIS IS SPARTA!" and kicks a Persian down a hole. However, I had seen it 1,000,000 times in commercials, so it lost its surprise and spectacle. Once you see the big hole, you know the Persian is going down.

All in all, it was decent, nothing spectacular, but still entertaining. It won't get you thinking that much, but it was fun. Rent it, don't buy it, because once you've seen it once, you've gotten all the entertainment value out of it that you will get.

The South Park episode "D-Yikes" was an hilarious and ingenious satirization of 300. There are a lot of really funny similarities, and the whole premise of the episode is funny just by itself.