The Love of My Life Might Be Gone For Good

She just doesn't love me, I guess. According to tabloids, Natalie Portman is dating Nat Rothschild, the heir apparent to the Rothschild banking family. This guy was born into a tremendous amount of money, is 10 years older than Natalie, has the same fucking name as Natalie, is English, is already a divorcee, and has never had to work a fucking day in his life. Yes, he is rich as fuck, but only because Mayer Amschel Rothschild started setting up banks across Europe in the 1700's. Do you know how fucking easy it is to make money at banking? All you need is capital to set up the business, then its interest accumulating upon itself for years and years. This fucking limey Nat Rothschild is reaping the benefits of a 200 year old seed he didn't even sew.

Natalie, he's not right for you. He may be an English baron, but I have a very loose claim on the Arch-Duchy of Saxe-Zeitz in Germany. Last time I checked, Dukes are higher than Barons.